A 180 Degree Turn

When my first precious son was born three years ago I joined that demographic of women who go out into the workplace every day, leaving their hearts at home with their little ones.

In the years that followed I struggled - no, refused- to accept the fact that I was a working mom. I had always imagined that when I became a mom I would stay at home, providing the most dedicated care to my kids. When that dream was crushed, I let denial, bitterness and self-pity prevent me from fulfilling my two highest callings: to work with all my heart as for the Lord (Col. 3:23) and to love my husband and children (Titus 2:4).

My work performance suffered because I was constantly brooding about it, my husband suffered because I was always fighting with him about it, and my children suffered because in my obstinacy I was trying to do all the wonderful things a stay at home mom can do when I didn't really have the time. (I'll share more about each of these mistakes later.)

Recently the Lord has graciously used various events, conversations and musings to pull, push and prod me, stumbling, out of a dark despondency and back into the bright light of life! I have finally accepted that I do work outside the home and instead of constantly bemoaning the minutes I'm not at home, I'm now deeply grateful for each moment I do have with my children and trying spend those moments in the most meaningful way. This has truly been a 180 degree turn for me and I feel like I can finally see the sun! God has given me a family and, at least for now, he's also given me a job. Now that I've accepted that, I have new hope and determination to do my job well and to take care of my family well on his terms and not my own.

That's what this blog is about: my journey to peace with my job and new freedom it has given me to enjoy my life and my precious family. It will also journal what I learn about practically being the best mom to my kids even while I work.

I'm so excited because I can already see how changing my outlook from self-pity and disappointment to peace and willingness to change has brought joy to my home. I can't wait to see how rich life can be as I continue to learn to live the life God has given me according to his perfect plan.

Are you a working mom who feels discouraged, stuck, disappointed, hopeless? Are you a working mom who has found a balance between working and pouring her heart into her children? I hope you'll leave comment or write to me. I'd like to build a community of working moms who encourage each other to care for our children with our deep mothers' love and put our hearts into our jobs even while our hearts are at home.